Originally article from Viha Connection Magazine at oshoviha.org
As our prop plane from Delhi began its earthward descent into Dharamshala, India, a light rain splattered the windows. In the distance the snowy peaks of the Himalayas became visible, looming larger with every passing minute. A little thrill went through my body as I remembered the reality of this three-week journey, both inner and outer, that I was about to embark upon.
This was my third Osho silent retreat, “Turning In,” held every February at Osho Nisarga in the foothills of the Himalayas near Dharamshala. Finally able to return to the retreat after missing in the COVID years I was more than ready for another deep dive into myself. In a general way I knew what was coming: 21 days in silence, with none of our usual protections against aloneness. No phones, computers, Internet...no conversations, no spoken or written words, no writing or music, and not even eye contact with the other participants or staff.
The group is composed of both Indian nationals and Western visitors from a variety of countries. We will go through the process together but we will remain alone. Each one of us has our own comfortable room, in beautiful buildings crafted from hand-hewn local stone. The light, airy, pristine meditation hall feels both traditional and contemporary, a sacred space that naturally carries us inward.
I had reserved a spacious room and balcony, overlooking the little river that flows down through the foothills from the melting snows of the Himalayas. It babbles over smooth, water-worn boulders that were born in some ancient age. Its calming sound will remain ever-present throughout the 21 days and nights of our retreat, offering a natural anchor into the moment. To the north are the snowy peaks of the Himalayas.
Beyond the Nisarga property line, as far as the eye can see, there are bright green plots of grain growing in every open space, tended by local farmers and their families, who live there in houses that dot the landscape. Each family has cows and goats and a little garden, and life seems very slow and natural. The number and variety of birds flying around and singing all day long is a constant reminder that existence is always celebrating, with or without us!
Nisarga itself feels organized, clean, and safe; every detail is gracefully attended to so that all of us can relax into the unwavering rhythm of days and nights that will support the deepening of our meditation. Meal times provide welcome diversions from our inner landscapes, which continue to unfold, nonetheless, as we eat.
The food is nourishing, simple Indian vegetarian cuisine, much of it organically grown in the Nisarga gardens.
The physical outer structure creates a loving container for the unfolding of our inner experience, which can take us anywhere and everywhere on, and beyond, the planet. We will travel back and forth on the timelines of our lives, from childhood traumas to life’s greatest achievements. Sometimes flying up on blissful wings, and other times tumbling down into dark corners of our minds, in 21 days the unconscious mind has plenty of time to reveal itself.
And reveal itself, it will – the structure of our days makes sure of that!
This “Turning In” retreat at Nisarga is designed by Osho Himself, and He has structured it using one of the energetic principles underlying all His active meditations: alternating active and passive stages, following movement with stillness. Every day the Dynamic and Kundalini Meditations carry us through stages of effort, tension, and physical/emotional expression that gradually lead the body toward a deeper relaxation and the possibility to settle into silent witnessing, stillness, and equanimity.
There are three 90-minute silent sittings throughout the day, and each has its own particular conditions and flavors. The first takes place in the meditation hall, together with the whole group at 10 am; it always has a feeling of a fresh beginning, setting the tone for the day to come. After a short tea break, we have a walk in nature for the next hour. My inner process is carried along even as I head into my walk through the amazing countryside.
After lunch, the second sitting begins; this one is outside in nature. I can sit on my balcony, or down at the river’s edge, or on the meditation hall verandah, or somewhere in the garden... The rush of the river is always there, in the background or foreground, wherever I choose to sit.
Suddenly it’s Kundalini time, followed by a chai break before the third silent sitting, in our rooms at sunset. By the light of a single candle – we are provided with 21 of them, one for each evening – I do my best to remain centered inside with my unfolding process. Sometimes I’m fascinated, sometimes I’m bored, sometimes ecstatic, sometimes simply neutral, witnessing my breath.
There are sittings when I am actually able to remain fully present for the entire 90 minutes, a clear witness to my mind’s every passing thought. Then, just when I feel, “Yes! Now I have the knack,” inevitably the next sitting reveals my mind as cloudy, sleepy, or more out of control than ever. One thing I’ve learned from doing this for 21 days is to not expect how any part of the experience should be, but just to let it unfold as it will.
One of my favorite times is the night. After dinner we have one more short activity, a slow, conscious Zen walk. Some of us walk on the river path, some up and down a small street; I love to walk around the veranda of the meditation hall, with its marble floor. The dark night with its cool breeze, the fog of my breath, the river’s roar, and every...single...step... Three times around takes a half hour, and then the day is done. Oh boy, time for bed!
My bed is comfortable, and my duvet is thick and warm, creating a cozy cocoon for nearly nine hours of deep, nourishing sleep. And whereas I rarely remember my dreams in “normal” life, in these retreats I am usually gifted with several important dreams that lead to insights during Dynamic or some other part of the next day. Sometimes the dreams feel troubling and point me to look in a particular direction and to feel deeper.
Shortly before 6 am I’m awake. I turn on my space heater (mornings tend toward chilly) and shuffle over to the tea area where I make myself a strong cup of coffee. Then, back to the bed, and as I sip, I invite the quality of the new day to flow over me, just as the river’s murmurs and the early morning bird-chirps do. Suddenly it’s time for Dynamic, and I throw on my maroon robe and fuzzy socks, and am off into a new day!
At the time of writing this, it is about 10 days since the end of my 2023 retreat. I can say that I have received a huge wave of creative inspiration since returning home – a deeper appreciation of the invisible, the unknowable, the unfathomable... And a deep respect for this process that allows me to peel away my darkness, my delusions, and my misunderstandings and to welcome my inner light to shine.
Nothing more to do than have a little dance and sing Halleluiah!
