The warmth generated by the sun was perfect, the breeze of the wind was smooth and yummy, and the bud was ready to bloom. And then, Life smiled, it happened! The flower blossomed, gently, beautifully, joyously! Tears in his eyes, touched by love, unaware of what had transpired within, a sannyasin was born. This was the birth of Anand Abhiram*!
Sannyas was a gift of Osho to me, out of his kindness and compassion. I waited at the doorstep for years till I could wait no more. And then I knocked. And that’s all I had to do. It seems the master was waiting! And all I did was acknowledge him as my master (so simple, yet so difficult!). And not a mental acknowledgment, but an opening of the heart unhindered, unprotected, sans shields, a dive into the unknown. And what I experienced was a beautiful communion with him.
To me, sannyas does not mean, “The End” or “and they lived happily ever after”. Sannyas is just the beginning of the journey, the journey into the beautiful world of the joys of the self, the journey of self-growth. Sannyas is a wakeup call, a realization that the garden within needs a lot of cleaning, weeding, pruning, mowing. Sannyas is also a realization that this journey does not have a destination, it itself is the destination. And this journey, the roller coaster ride we call Life hasn’t for me, suddenly become a bed of roses or a bare feet walk on a thorny path. It has remained the same, but the way I have related to this ride from the inside, has undergone a major transformation.
I am learning to live every moment to the fullest, to extract every ounce of juice out of it. I am learning to enjoy the simple, small joys of life. I am learning to live my life as totally as possible, putting my total being into whatever I do. I am learning to float, not swim, and go with the flow. I am learning to be more at integrity with myself. I am learning to trust myself more. I am learning to be a witness more often, becoming aware of my myriad emotions, judgments, weaknesses.
At work, I am a happier person, as I work for work’s sake, feeling contented with my effort, rather than long for an external acknowledgement. This has hedged me against the disappointment that failure brings which is a normal part of the kind of work I do. With friends, I am a friendlier person, cherishing the beautiful bonds I share with them and enjoying every minute of their comforting company. With me, I feel more in love with myself, enjoying every minute of my company and my silence. So life is beautiful and richer in every way!
* Anand means Joy, Abhiram means beautiful.
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