Ma Yoga Neelam
Osho's Last Indian Secretary

The celebrated eldest daughter-in-law of an affluent and loving family, Neelam was living a picture-perfect life; until August 1969, when her life found real significance... It was love at first sight for Neelam as she lay eyes on Acharya Rajneesh, her mind flashing with past life memories with Him. Her yearning grew with every passing month waiting to be in the presence of this mysterious, magnetic man. Every letter she received from Him deepened her quest. Every camp she attended opened her to His radical meditation techniques. Ma Yoga Neelam was finally born on October 17 1972, in an impromptu sannyas initiation by her Beloved Master, now fondly called Bhagwan.

On one hand word about Bhagwan spread making Pune ashram the second home to countless seekers, on the other, misinformation about His ways got Him the label of ‘sex-guru’. Neelam braved through family opposition and other hurdles to keep visiting the Poona ashram along with Priya, her daughter and fellow seeker. In October 1981, following her Master, she bid goodbye to her perfect-little life and left for an American wasteland. Whereas the steadfast Priya stayed on with her, Amarjeet returned. Neither the exhausting 12 hour work shifts nor the emotional pain could break Neelam; Bhagwan’s constant guidance kept her going, and growing. She found happiness amidst cleaning toilets, learnt surviving alone during travel assignments, and recognised the sacredness of the Master-Disciple bond. Her deepening secret desire to serve Bhagwan closely got fulfilled when she was asked to leave for India, with Bhagwan and His closest disciples. 

Bhagwan had earlier called Neelam “my Karma Yogi”…. And in November 1985 in Kullu Manali, He appointed her - “the secretary of my household campus.” Here, Neelam also got the opportunity to be Bhagwan’s personal caretaker amidst the 18-19 hour intense work schedule. Neelam continued to work close to Bhagwan in Nepal. Thereafter in February 1986, the entourage left for Europe. Neelam was told to standby until Bhagwan’s message… so she flew to America to work to survive. After 145 long days of uncertainty, Neelam finally reunited with Bhagwan on the plane back to India where He told her, “Once we are in Bombay, you take care of me, and I will take care of you… You will be my secretary.”

Neelam worked tirelessly from that day on. Pune ashram came back to life in January 1987 and entered a new phase. Neelam played a warm host and played a pivotal role in soothing the hurt caused at the Oregon ranch. Bhagwan’s negatively distorted image was mended and His real message of meditation rightfully took the forefront. Work expanded at a phenomenal rate and the ashram rose to a pinnacle. The annual festivals grew into huge and grandiose gatherings of seekers when the ashram would become a cultural mecca of sorts. On Bhagwan’s asking she found creative ways for His people to contribute. All along, she made sure the office stayed abuzz with laughter and celebration. Somehow in the thick of ceaseless work, Neelam dropped deeper into meditation.

Bhagwan had once promised Neelam, “I will not leave my body until I see you walking on your own.” True to His word, He prepared her well before renaming Himself Osho, and leaving His body in January 1990. Neelam continued to feel her Master’s presence, and pour herself into the ashram work for almost a decade thereafter. By then, on much insistence of friends, Neelam had begun leading meditation camps across Europe (and Japan) where she would fondly narrate juicy Osho stories too. Back at the ashram, mornings spent meditating at Osho’s Samadhi were Neelam’s favourite part of the day, but that had to end – one by one, watching Inner Circle members chosen by Osho leave the ashram, Neelam was already feeling lonely – dirty politics in admin plus disagreement with the new unemotional policies turned all her attention into meditation, and a desire to build a small meditation centre in the Himalayas, as Osho always wanted.

 In 2000 Neelam got ‘banned’ from the ashram, and in 2001 Neelam zeroed on the few acres of land that were to become Osho Nisarga. It must have been destined, for help of all sorts began streaming in! Neelam split her days between travelling the country leading meditation camps, and construction work. September 2006 saw Shunya Mandir, the heart of the campus, filled to its brim with Osho lovers being led into a meditation by Neelam. She began inviting her therapist friends from Pune days. One packed group after another, Nisarga soon becomes a haven for Osho lovers and seekers – gorgeous landscape, delicious and fresh home grown food, aesthetically designed accommodation – the perfect vibe for turning inwards. And Neelam was making the most of it; besides managing the centre and leading camps and sannyas initiations, Neelam was consistently walking her spiritual path. Maybe thus, when in 2016 cancer came knocking, Neelam did not break down; rather, let herself flow with life, towards its pinnacle…

Being face to face with death, intensified her life, distanced her from the body and heightened awareness. Seventeen chemos, one major surgery and several awestruck doctors later she was back in Shunya mandir, leading the Guru Purnima celebration, in July 2018! She got busy soon after to complete the last task assigned to her by her Master – “Write of your experiences that brought you at home with yourself… that which can help the seekers on the path…” Osho had even given her the title for the book: ‘Seeing, watching, living with the master and being at home’. She finished the book and its second edit barely a few days before leaving her body, leaving a beautiful gift for seekers everywhere. Neelam’s death was the embodiment of relaxed alertness. Her last requests included her daily morning ritual of listening to birdsongs and peeing without assistance! Her refusal to take pain killers left the visiting doctors flabbergasted. Graceful, alert and full of love – Neelam’s death is as much an inspiration as her life.  

Want to read her autobiography? Get your copy here.