Buddham Sharnam Gachhami…
Sangham Sharnam Gacchami…
Dharmam Sharnam Gachhami…
{I surrender to all Buddhas through space/time}
{I surrender to the Sangha}
{I surrender to the Truth}
The day I formally received the teaching of vipassana meditation was immensely overwhelming. What gratitude could be an offering adequate enough? The surrender to ‘truth’ (intellectually at least!!) was instantaneous. That day, the purpose of life found a new depth, a new dimension. With occasional breaks, I have now been practicing vipassana daily for 5 years with the understanding of life, of truth, moving into new dimensions each passing day. With absolute trust in the path (or no-path!) life lit up with new colours of understanding, sounds of wisdom, and perfume of grace. Surprisingly, making friends with silence brought a strange ease to the non-silent moments too!
I recognized that the music of silence has been there, ‘everywhere’, ‘every-time’. But the growing awareness also made clear, what a poor listener I was!! I know now that some ‘places’ have a deeper; louder (!) silence than others. Ironically the path to desire less-ness crosses through the ‘seeking’ of many desires! In summer of 2015, I asked life to ‘provide’ me with a sacred space; an ‘ideal’ place for a ‘non-ideal’ meditator like myself. That week I discovered Osho Nisarga. I signed up for the neo-vipassana course in the following week, and was there the following month.
I found myself falling utterly in love with this beautiful little ‘piece of heaven’. I figured perhaps the effect was the consequence of the incredible natural beauty; the snow-capped mountains, the river flowing besides the walkway, the fresh green of the trees, the colours of the flowers or perhaps the dragonflies! But maybe it was because of Ma Neelam’s consistent caring for aesthetics! Every tiny square foot was just perfect. But then I wondered if it was the doing of the chefs here!!! Scrumptious healthy food is often a much talked-of phenomenon here!
Although I suspected more, I’d almost settled for these justifications… Fortunately amidst the other gifts of love and wisdom Sw Tathagat suggested I come here again for the 21 day February silent retreat. I am so glad I listened to him!
My prayers had been answered. Life had shared with me a beautiful Buddha field, sacred beyond my grasping. I realized how penetrating the silence of the Shunya Mandir was; and how it infuses itself into every fiber of this place. It was not the aesthetic-beauty, but the profound stillness; not the perfect management but the deep love; not the varied flora-fauna, but its aliveness; not the taste of the food but its sacredness!
The 3 weeks of silence at Nisarga, were some of my most significant. The time-table design was flawless! Oscillating harmoniously between activity and passivity, as the beloved master suggested, each day consistently allowed for the build-up of depth and maturity on the path. The presence of almost 2 dozen fellow meditators, each sincere in their seeking brought to my experience a profound emotion of ‘home-ness’. Before the ceremonious coming out of silence, my heart bowed down, this was surrender to the Sangha.
This was February 2016. I came back again next year and the next! The last three years have been significant beyond measure. My intellect was inadequate is recognizing what I possibly could have ‘received’ from these three ‘3 weeks at a time’ retreats. Some gifts have been revealed to me after gaps of many-many months, others perhaps still lay concealed to my mind!
I have been reading/ listening to Osho’s words since many years, but it was in these retreats that I actually experienced his oceanic presence! And his grace (not always ‘assessed’ as pleasant by my intellect in the heat of such moments!) lingered on through the years to follow. I sometimes find it ironic when feeling gratitude towards a true master. I can’t comprehend what brings such grace to us, while we squander precious time on the pretense of toiling in worldly duties. In sheer curiosity, delight and reverence I conclude by bowing down to the infinite compassion of all the Buddhas… Buddham Sharnam Gachhami.
