When beloved Ma Neelam invited me to join the 21 days silent retreat I could clearly hear my heart jumping with joy, saying "Yes! Yes! Please, let's do it!" So I came!
It seems like my soul was longing to do this for ages and it welcomed the silence so beautifully! And during the first 8 days even the mind gave my soul the space to enjoy! My whole being was in bliss. But obviously this mind is not easy to shut down just like that. When it realized the silence was going to continue, the chatter was full on, nonstop. It felt like I would go mad! For two days I was bombarded with all the thoughts I didn't have during the first week, and more. Then, finally, it surrendered. And I found in my meditation the deepest; long, very long silent moments of pure nothingness, of a sky with no clouds, where my true, real face was revealed. How to express this experience? I can only say that I never wanted to leave that space. It was like finally arriving home.
There were difficult times of course. Old, buried emotions started to come up to the surface. Catharsis was very strong. A lot of tears, lot of anger were arising, guilt and sorrows. But the loving supportive energy of Nisarga made even that beautiful.
I have no words to express my gratitude to this place and the whole staff for the space given to us during the process. Not only the beloved friends in charge, but even the gardeners, the cooks, the cleaning ladies, everyone was supporting us with their sweet, delicate presence and their overwhelming love and respect.
It will be very difficult to leave. To say good-bye to the singing river, to the birds and their symphony of caressing music, the majestic mountains in their white gowns sharing their powerful energy with the quiet, innocent fields below. The most favorite pine-tree forest, to this feeling of being welcome and protected, to the sweetness of the people and to the amazing, delicious food!
I cannot imagine a better place to have done this retreat. Having the opportunity to be in absolute silence and seclusion surrounded by so much natural beauty and overflowing love has been the best nourishing gift for the soul.
Thank you Ma Neelam for your sweet tender presence, Priya for your patience, help and understanding, Samarth for your kindness and gentle courtesy, Rahi, Tathagat, Ambar, Megha and every single person in this wonderful piece of heaven, called Osho Nisarga. I, my heart, my soul, and my body-mind will never forget you. I love you from the deepest corner inside, and pray for existence to let me come back again and again and again.
