Being at Home: A Living Guide to the Path (by Nirbija)

Seeing, Watching, Living with the Master and
Being at Home
by Ma Yoga Neelam

Yoga Neelam‘s autobiography is a rainbow of a life dedicated to the inner search. It describes her adventurous journey of a happily married Indian housewife who experimented together with her husband and young daughter with Osho‘s meditation techniques, from the early meditation camps in the late 1960s to the challenges of becoming His Indian secretary in the late 1980s. The reader might suspect that an ancient group of disciples had joined the Master again in this life.

How to be with a Master? Had I read Neelam's account before taking Sannyas myself, it would have saved me from many misunderstandings. I found this episode about surrender revealing: Neelam suggests to Osho that she see her sick mother-in-law, who was very antagonistic to Sannyas. “Not a good idea,” replies Osho, and Neelam simply cancels her flight ticket. „Ouch!" cries my ego. What is the secret of surrender?

It did not happen quickly with her initiation, confesses Neelam. Only after passing the fire tests during her first 13 years, including four years at Osho‘s commune in Oregon, USA, she discovers a new openness towards the Master: “Now I am His disciple… ‘Sannyas’ has actually happened.” Such statements make this book a living manual for meditators, a transmission of wisdom.

Neelam‘s husband quits Rajneeshpuram, leaving her heartbroken. One day, Osho stops His car in front of her, and presents her and her daughter Priya with gifts. The wings of the Master‘s love and compassion are always with His disciples, no matter how much He challenges them. This is so inspiring to read that you can bathe in the sparkling atmosphere of this spiritual biography.

The reader gets authentic glimpses into the drama of Osho‘s expulsion from the USA. Arriving at a disciple's house in Mumbai in relative safety after the disastrous world tour in 1985, some of His western sannyasins insisted on flying Osho back to a residence in Spain, suggesting He should remain silent there for a while. Neelam quotes Him as commenting, “They still don‘t understand." Osho knew that only India would finally respect an enlightened being and His right to speak freely. At times, the often bizarre events surrounding this controversial Zen Master make for startling reading.

With no spiritual theories, Neelam weaves precious experiences of her everyday life - the meditation camps and the communes in Pune and Oregon, USA - into a magic carpet that can take the reader high up in the inner sky. Osho's teachings for her are full of love, and she quotes Him word for word as He guides her in meditation about her managerial work at the Pune commune or sheds light on her personal issues. As Osho‘s caretaker after Oregon, she records many intimate exchanges that are of universal help for everyone on the path.

Learning from Neelam's discipleship can be an invaluable living example, especially for western readers who seek a deeper understanding of not only a disciple‘s path with Osho but that of a devotee in the truest sense of eastern wisdom. The West at large cannot grasp who a Guru, a spiritual guide, is or who Osho was. This book is a rare testimony and gift that brings East and West together.

The story's historical timeline is illustrated by over 200 images. I was impressed by seeing Neelam, together with friends and artists, gracefully present Osho's books to large audiences at book fairs in India's major cities during the late 1990s. It appears that this was successful in countering American government propaganda against Her Master, who is now widely accepted throughout India.

For those suffering from cancer, the last chapters bring to life the healing hidden in letting go. With Osho‘s inner guidance, even after He left His body, Neelam found the indestructible witness, the unidentified watcher on the hills, in herself. Reading these pages can be inspiring to those who themselves face final cancer. How did she become a detached observer of her body undergoing chemo therapy and immense pain?

The touching epilogue of the book is written by Deva Priya, whose own story with Osho unfolds. Neelam has valued her daughter since her teenage days as a soulmate. Osho has taken care of Priya since her childhood. She accompanied her mother through the last two years of her final cancer and later, two of her close friends, and finally her father who succumbed to the same disease.

During those cancer years, Neelam started writing her manuscript until her death in 2020. She seemed to have practiced Prati Prasav, a meditation technique suggested by Osho to look back on one‘s life. That might have given her a detailed remembrance of the many events covering these 422 pages.

Neelam’s computer manuscripts were edited piece by piece by Bhagawati, one of Osho's press representatives during Rajneeshpuram and later a co-editor of Osho News. Priya finally published Neelam’s memoirs as an elegantly produced book, continuing the legacy of her mother.

Those who share Osho‘s love as sannyasins will recognise many moments of their own journey. But you don‘t even have to know Osho to get the taste of walking the path with Neelam and the Master.

By Anand Nirbija

An excerpt from the book-

• “You want me to be jobless?” – Excerpted from Chapter 11